We love to complain about Dallas, but most people love living here. And for the most part, it's a pretty great place to live. We have good sports teams (for the most part), good theater and the arts, and a cost of living that makes you want to throw yourself off the nearest bridge. Still, this is by no means a utopia.
If you've lived in Dallas for more than about three weeks, you've probably noticed a lot of stupid things, even if you don't pay attention to local politics or conservative talk radio. In fact, you've likely experienced at least five (and probably all) of the 10 Really, Really Stupid Things About Dallas.
traffic situation
So yeah, complaining about Dallas traffic feels like 1980, but it's still totally awful. We don't even complain about rush hour, when the roads are expected to be clogged with millions of people living in this city and its adjoining suburbs trying to get to work. What really pisses us off is that a spontaneous and completely unexplained traffic jam at 2pm on a Thursday makes him an hour late for his nail appointment.
Omni LED sign
The Downtown Dallas Omni Hotel's LED signage has a lot of potential to be a beautiful addition to the landscape, but most of the time it looks like someone ripped the carpet out of a Las Vegas casino. Even worse, when the logo of a conference being held at a convention center completely prevents you from taking a cool selfie in front of a world-class skyline.
Being outside is the worst
Despite the heat, Dallas is not the best place to be outdoors. When it's hot, the (probably) billions of pounds of concrete that our cities are built on sucks it in and holds it in, making us as miserable as humanly possible. We're not the only ones who think so—last year, outside magazine (a collective of hippies) declared Dallas the worst outdoor city in the country, thanks to a wondrous combination of lack of green space, poor air quality, and carbon pollution. Don't even get me started on pollen.
You cannot swim in White Rock Lake.
At this point, you probably don't want to go swimming in White Rock Lake. Perhaps there are a lot of dirty needles and old tires that need to be condemned and cleaned by the appropriate authorities. But how great would it be if there was a huge lake in the middle of this hot city where you could actually swim? in? Sure, you can take a kayak or canoe, but who wants to soak up the sun when you can actually be in the refreshing water? It confuses the mind.
micro neighborhood
Dallasites are very picky about geography, so you should be familiar with Vickery Meadows, Lakewood, and Casa Linda in East Dallas. It seems as if every street in the city's nice neighborhoods is its own unique neighborhood, which is a bit ridiculous. Forgive me if I still don't understand exactly what Kessler Park or Junius Heights is. We're too busy worrying about you running us over with your SUV to pay attention to the precious little signs that adorn road signs.
pothole
Potholes aren't just a stupid problem in Dallas, they're a serious problem that no one with the power to fix them seems to care about. We'll probably have to send the city of Dallas an invoice for tires and new car alignments we've purchased over the years, but they send us the invoice as quickly as anything else. In the meantime, pray that you won't have to ride your bike to work or increase your life insurance amount.
lack of diversity in radio
Dallas is pretty solid in major music categories like pop, hip-hop, Tejano, and rock, but everything else is a little harder to find. While KXT 97.1 is strictly an “indie” station and WRR 101.1 plays classical music, KNON 89.3 has the most musical diversity. We're not looking for obscure world music here, but an Americana station or some kind of unique new format would be really, really good news.
First Baptist Church
No one here is bashing anyone's religion, but First Baptist Church in downtown Dallas is ridiculous. As if it wasn't bad enough that Robert Jeffress is a hateful bigot who takes every opportunity FOX News gives him to spew hate against gays, women, and everyone in between. First Baptist's new home is a completely ridiculous structure. Maybe they could have fed a million or so hungry children instead of building a giant swooping glass thing that hangs ominously over San Jacinto.
Distance to Denton
Denton is like a getaway from Dallas. At least that's what we heard, because it's too far to drive. Denton is a land of great music, fine art, good theater, and even decent restaurants (supposedly), but it's too far away to be considered regularly. Especially if it means having to get on I-35 after drinking 20 penny pints or whatever cheap booze kids are drinking these days.
victory park
Although it's a relatively new and nice space, Victory Park should be renamed “Empty as Fuck Park.” Because it's almost 100% true. There are a few restaurants, but unless the Mavericks win the NBA Championship again or it's New Year's Eve, Victory Park is a complete ghost town. At this point I would almost take another strip mall or chain restaurant just to make this beautiful space more convenient.
