So while I was talking to the host of The Midlife Makeover podcast, who interviews people about right sizing, over Zoom, I noticed that the host, Wendy Valentine, was recording from inside an RV trailer. She is asking questions and I would like to ask her some questions.
“Wendy,” I interrupted. “Is that RV your office or do you live there?”
“Both,” she said. I'm talking about proper sizing here. Specifically, we're talking about how to choose where, what, and with what to spend the last, and ideally the best, third or more of your life. And I realized that my host could be the epitome of that. After she finished her questions, I turned the tables on her and asked if we could talk about her RV and her life properly.
“Hey, I need an RV just to store my cosmetics. How do I do that?”
Her story tumbled out. Five years ago, Wendy, now 51, was contemplating divorce. Her brother had just died. She learned she had Lyme disease. Her three sons left home. And she was depressed, anxious, unemployed, and $150,000 in debt.
“I had a meltdown,” she said. “I was completely confused.” As she began to understand her situation, she came up with a vision of herself driving her RV and traveling around the country. “Of course I can't drive an RV across the country, but the idea represented pure freedom to me.” (RV life is not my definition of freedom, but it is a lesson in moderation. Number one is that one size doesn't fit all.)
At that moment, she decided that everything had to change. (Most adjustment journeys start with a change in life, such as a divorce, an empty nest, a encounter with death, or a financial reversal, but it doesn't all happen at once, as in her case.)
Step one, she said, was to find a job, preferably in a Virginia suburb, and live alone in a 2,400-square-foot rental home. In April 2019, she took a job selling new homes in Chicago. She packed up her U-Haul and moved 1,100 miles away to a 1,200-square-foot apartment. Her long drives reinforced her vision of one day making a new life on the road.
The work paid handsomely. She quickly paid off her debt and deposited the money in the bank. Her depression and anxiety disappeared, along with her money worries. “It was a domino effect,” she said. She “felt empowered by her work. As she achieved her goals, she gained hope and inspiration.” However, she still felt that her work gave her hope and inspiration. I longed for freedom.
Then, in October 2021, she moved out of her apartment and into a 24-foot RV she bought for $150,000. Then she took it to her home and eventually watched her podcast show on the go. How did it go? I had a few more questions:
Marni: Where did this idea come from? Did you have any previous RV experience?
Wendy: I blame my parents. (Laughs) Forty years ago, my father, a former FBI agent, and my mother, a musician, announced they were selling their 4,000 square foot home in San Antonio so they could live in an RV and travel the United States. I thought they were funny. We were a typical American family with four bedrooms and two cars, and suddenly our house and everything in it was up for sale. All I had to say to that was, “Can I have the couch?” Currently, her mother is 77 years old and her father is 80 years old. They are starting to slow down, but he still lives in her 40-foot RV in Arizona.
Q: We downsized significantly from 2,400 square feet to 1,200 square feet to 120 square feet. What is the most difficult aspect?
answer: clothes! We used to have a closet about the same size as this RV. Right now I'm wearing stretchy pants and a tank top. As we looked through our apartment, we made piles of things to put in the RV, things to put at Goodwill, and things the kids could use. My youngest son was moving to a new apartment, so I sent him some furniture. And in case I ever need an apartment, I have about 10 boxes of household goods, a few paintings, and a box of family photos in a storage facility in Arizona.
Q: How do you support yourself?
answer: The podcast is sponsored and I have an online course called 7 Steps to Finding Freedom in Midlife. You can do them from anywhere. Today, we are so blessed to be able to work remotely. More people need to take advantage of it so we don't get stuck.
Q: What are the most frequently asked questions?
answer: People want to know if I'm lonely. not much. There's a difference between being alone and being lonely. I long to be alone, but I picked up a small dog along the way. People also ask if I'm scared. I never have. I stay at nice RV parks. I'm a glamper.
Q. How do you meet your family?
answer: My sons live in Arizona, California, and Virginia. Of them he lives near one, which means that the other he does not live near the two. With an RV, you can be close to all three. Right now I'm in Malibu with ocean view and close to one of my sons.
Q. What about the benefits of belonging to one community, of knowing where to buy your groceries and where to get your hair done, that you lose when you live a nomadic life?
answer: COVID-19 has really helped because so many things can happen now. I use Uber Eats to have my groceries delivered. RV life teaches you adaptability. Oh, and I have hair salons in Scottsdale, Chicago, and Los Angeles. Hair is important.
Q: Do you feel like you're calming down again?
answer: I try not to plan too far ahead or be too formal. Your fifties are the perfect time to explore. Life is like a buffet. I sample a lot and then go back and get more of what I like. I want to sample as much as possible.
Marni Jameson is the author of seven books, including the newly released book“Right-Sizing Today to Build Your Best Life Tomorrow: A Motivation Guide for People Seeking the Perfect Home Later in Life.”, and “What to do with everything you own to leave the legacy you want.” She can be reached at the following address:marnijamson.com.
