He has transformed from a skier to a horror expert. (Getty Images)
Kristen Ulmer is an American skiing legend with roots in New England.
She grew up in Henniker, New Hampshire and learned to ski at Pat Peak. She later became a member of the U.S. Ski Team and competed in moguls. But her biggest influence came in big mountain extreme skiing. Now, she is a fear expert whose goal is to help people overcome anxiety in a way she is passionate about.
She was recently a guest on New England Ski Journal's Basecamp Podcast. Here are some highlights of our conversation with her. (This has been partially edited for clarity.)
“Early in my ski career, I was competing in moguls. I had no goals or intentions, I just wanted to hang out with friends and go on a cool road trip. He wasn't very good, but he was very good in the air. And Eric, who was using the power of his faith to film what was then called the North Face Extreme Ski Video Series. -I thought I could convince Perlman to let me audition for my ski in his movie.
“I had never jumped off a cliff on skis. I had never thrown the 'backscratcher' that everyone was doing back then. To participate in this movie, jump off a cliff and throw a “backscratcher.” So I did three of them. And landed them all. And the guys had never seen girls do anything like this before. I did not understand. And they were so loud that by that afternoon everyone in Squaw Valley knew my name. By the end of that week, everyone in the ski industry knew my name. And by the end of the month, articles were being published and all the major ski magazines were calling me America's best female big mountain extreme skier – thanks to my ability to jump off this cliff. ”
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Eventually, Ulmer became a member of the U.S. Ski Team in moguls.
“I've never had any formal training (in moguls). One day I got really good. I went to Asia for four months to build up my self-esteem. I traveled alone. I made myself as ugly as possible because I knew that my self-esteem was based on being beautiful and being a pretty good skier. Also, during that trip, I made sure not to talk about skiing. Other than those two, I tried to understand what makes me who I am (ital) and what gives me confidence. When I came back from that trip I didn't think about skiing all summer, and before I knew it, I was winning everything. I literally went from last place to winning moguls. …I competed in national competitions. . I placed 7th. There were six women on the American team and one of them got injured, but I earned her spot the following winter. So, I… They literally went from last place to the World Cup in one year with no formal training.They got the best training money can buy and spent their whole lives developing to make the U.S. Ski Team. I competed against all the girls who were there. It was so cool. In fact, it was one of the proudest moments of my life. But I didn't know what to do with the fear inside the gate and was a little overwhelmed. . And I felt like I was having impostor syndrome. And all of a sudden, it felt like thousands of people were screaming and cameras were pointing at my face. And I… I wasn't used to it, I wasn't emotionally ready for it, and I didn't do well on the U.S. Ski Team.
Ulmer's time as a ski mogul and representing the United States did not last long. She found her way back to big mountain skiing.
“I had been offered money to go heli-skiing in Canada and jump off cliffs into powder. So for me the choice was very clear. That's what I wanted to do instead. And that That marked the end of my moguls days. I haven't skied many moguls since then.”
It was while on the U.S. Ski Team that Ulmer noticed some problems and feared that he would be focusing on it for much of his life.
“Once I got into the gates of the World Cup, I didn't know what to do. The coaches didn't pay much attention to me because they were waiting to see if I was worth their time. But I didn't know what to do with that fear. When I entered the gates of the World Cup, I was completely out of my comfort zone. And how to deal with that fear. I couldn't grow up because I didn't know that. I always tried to do what I was taught to do, but that meant pushing it out of my head or convincing myself that I didn't care and rationalizing it. None of that works. So you might be able to get through it temporarily, but it builds up and eventually the truth comes out and you're overwhelmed with fear. It means that it has been done.”
Ulmer has become a media figure who speaks and writes about skiing. “I had reached a point in my ski career where I was living out her dream,” she said. However, she didn't feel fulfilled enough to spend her entire career there. The turning point for her came when she met a Zen master who changed her way of thinking.
“I wanted to introspect and understand what I had learned from my 15 years as a professional skier. So I started a mindset-only ski camp called Ski to Live and promoted it. We hired a sports psychologist to help. And I realized that this man had no idea the secret to his great athleticism. So I hired a Zen master who had track and field experience but was not a skier. And I learned more about myself and what the magic of being a pro skier is in those first 10 minutes under his leadership than I did in my 15 years as a pro athlete. It's been 10 minutes and the whole room is holding back tears. Because of what they learned about themselves. I studied with him for his 15 years and now run my own ski camp. They only think about mindset. It's really cool. They have a huge impact on people, not just skiing, but life. I've seen people go from intermediate to expert skier in one run. ”
Ulmer now considers himself an expert on fear and how people react to fear.
“The reason I'm an expert is because I'm not repeating what I learned in college. It's great that they've come up with amazing ways to buy us time and limp us out of anxiety disorders.” What I am doing is teaching the complete opposite of those tools. When I studied under a Zen master, I learned a facilitation tool called spoken dialogue. Everything that I am, and everything that I teach, this is not my personal philosophy. I have actually responded to the voice of fear through audio dialogue with tens of thousands of clients at this time. So I Just asks in horror, “Hey, why are you acting so crazy and showing up like you have an anxiety disorder?” What's wrong? 'And basically, what fear has taught me through my clients, that's what I'm teaching. And show it to the client. All I do is facilitate a conversation between them and their fears. And whatever the fear asks the client to do about it, the client gets to do it, and these anxiety disorders resolve very quickly. So this is not my personal philosophy. It all comes from speaking with fear. ”
Ulmer also wants to show people how fear manifests itself in ways that are perhaps impossible.
“When I say fear, it hardly ever manifests as fear or fear. It's any kind of discomfort in our bodies. That's our fear. We fear each other, we fear shame. Fear is just shame. Dad says there's nothing to be afraid of when we're young, but there are things to be afraid of. None of us, as nature intended. We are no longer carried away by fear. Rather, we hide it and are ashamed. We fight or run away. This is an interesting point for skiers. Fear makes us do something on the mountain. We misunderstand it. What holds us back is our unwillingness to feel fear. Therefore, no one knows how to feel fear.
“Fear doesn't freeze us; our reaction to it does. You could say the hose gets kinked. We stop the flow of fear and try to get rid of it. The next thing we know, Fear builds up in our bodies and begins to flood into our chests and throats. Then the thoughts of fear and anxiety become looped. In other words, fear trapped behind a twisted hose is anxiety. Therefore, The solution is to do exactly the opposite of what we've been taught: unkink the hose and let nature flow back to life as it intended, with horror. Learn how to look at the fear that may be raising you up and feel it. And if you can feel it intimately, it goes from being suppressive to being the best thing we have on this earth. It transforms into an experience and brings it into a flow state, like when you're skiing. As a human being, I like to see fear because fear lives in my body. And With that, you share a heartbeat. And if you're fighting it, you're fighting yourself. And that's why we're skiing in the first place: You completely miss the point of being here to challenge yourself, and with challenge comes fear.”
