(New York Jewish Week) — Despite the name, neither Schmuck nor Boy is the host of a Jewish dating podcast called “Schmuck Boys.”
Instead, the podcast is the brainchild of Libby Amber Walker, 25, a content creator who lives in Manhattan, and Marla Friedson, 27, a video producer who moved to Los Angeles from New York in late 2022. A group of young Jewish professionals living in New York during the coronavirus pandemic quickly bonded over their passion for helping Jews date other Jews.
Both women, who are passionate about growing the Jewish community, felt there was a lack of authentic representation of what it was like to be young, Jewish, and looking for love. “Schmuck Boys,” which premiered in November 2021 and is a production of the Los Angeles Jewish Journal Podcast Network, relies on dating “advice” from well-meaning parents and grandparents, even if they aren’t in a relationship. Instead, the spotlight is on the voices of Generation Z. And millennials.
Walker and Friedson and their guests, including “Jewish Matchmaking” star Aliza Ben Shalom and actor Jonah Pratt, walk through the process of Jewish matchmaking to converting with a non-Jewish partner. We cover everything from everything to the unique challenges of dating within the LGBTQ Jewish community. .
'What are people talking about in their 20s and 30s?' They're dating,'' Friedson told the New York Jewish Week. “It's no longer taboo to be proud of being single or to talk about wanting to find someone. As women who want to date, especially Jewish people, we felt like there was room for that, because so many Because while people talk about dating, there are some issues that are unique to the dating community that only Jews can relate to.”
Case in point: When asked what the biggest challenge is when dating within the Jewish community, Friedson and Walker say the communal nature of Jewish life means relationships can quickly become strong or break apart. He said that there is a possibility that That feels true, since Jewish communities in any city are often small, even in a place like New York City, which is home to more than 1.3 million Jews, but if you've previously had a relationship with friends or family, It's not uncommon to date someone who has.
“In the Jewish world, when you're not dating, you're less likely to date someone your friends were dating, and you're probably going to be looked down upon more,” Friedson said. “People need to be a little more mature and accept that. And it's not always easy.”
Walker, who has been in a relationship since the podcast began, said the mixed nature of Jewish dating can actually be a strength, noting that singles have dated or gone on Jewish summers. Camp with them because you may know someone and can better vet potential suitors.
“We help each other, but we can also hurt each other in the process, because we know too much before we meet,” Walker said, adding that this familiarity can also lead to single people being less likely to choose their dates. He explained that people are often deprived of the opportunity to learn about themselves.
As for the podcast's name, the phrase was coined by Walker as a Yiddish version of the popular slang term “f-kboy.” This word is helpfully defined by Dictionary.com as “that man…who does not respect women, but is highly dependent on them.” He is aloof, doesn't care about other people's time, and doesn't want to commit. He is self-absorbed, does stupid things, and disrespects other people's feelings. ”
Walker emphasized that the main aspect of schmuck boys is their refusal to commit. She said they depend on women and often treat them like girlfriends, but refuse to define their relationship as anything more than casual.
“My favorite word is ‘possibility.’ Nothing is clear,” she elaborated. “They'll definitely do the boyfriend thing and then make it clear that they're not going to do that right away.”
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Friedson, who is currently single, added that schmuck boys are playboys who trick their dates into believing they are monogamous, which is never the case.
Although “Schmuck Boys” was founded to talk about dating, topics such as Jewish identity, Israel, and anti-Semitism have become as integral to the podcast as discussions of the so-called Schmuck Boys themselves. Masu. This has been particularly evident since Hamas' October 7 attack on Israel. Friedson said he felt it was a “mission” to speak out in support of Israel on the podcast, given their platform.
“There was never any question in our minds about talking about Israel,” Friedson said, adding that he included high-profile guests such as influencer Liv Schreiber and activist and sports journalist Emily Austin. He added that his arrival made it important to talk about Israel. war. “We can give important voices a platform to continue to use them. Many of the people we interviewed want to help improve that platform. Because we are the only ones talking about our community, so our community has to be as loud as possible.”
The pair had planned for Season 3, which will start in early November 2023, to follow the flow of the first two seasons. But when the war began, Friedson and Walker put casual dating conversations on the back burner to discuss anti-Semitism on college campuses, counter misinformation on social media, and defend hostages remaining in Gaza. I had to pivot. They invited Israeli activist and New York University graduate Adela Kojav Moadev, who sued the school for anti-Semitism in 2019, and influencer Lizzie Sabetsky to discuss their experiences traveling to Israel after the outbreak of war. Told.
Tackle more diverse topics has been an educational experience for both podcast listeners and hosts. “We really learned the importance of Judaism,” Walker said. Walker is a TikTok influencer and comedian who goes by the name Sheryl Cohen, a Jewish mother. She said, “As some may think, [podcast] The name sounds like a silly little gimmick, but it really isn't. ”
Still, dating and dating advice remain the bread and butter of “Schmuck Boys.” And when it comes to dating tips, Friedson recommends always being open and candid. She also encourages women to get their own shots, as she feels social norms often prevent women from starting the conversation first.
“I don't think it's helpful to hide your feelings or play games,” she says. “If you're interested in someone and want to know if there's something out there, don't be afraid to just say something.”
At the end of the day, Walker insists that no matter how much advice the “Schmuck Boys” host offers about Jewish dating, what really matters is the day someone no longer needs it. “One day you stop asking for advice because you don't need it anymore,” she says. “You just need to be with someone who is meaningful to you.”
